notorious b.a.n.a.n.a

its funny because people think im quiet

but im just listening to everyones conversations

and figuring out your weaknesses

and ill use them against you to get further in life

because i hate everyone

givemeyourwifipassword:

Following more than one person with the same icon

vagian:

I love those people you can joke around with and have so much fun with and then have a deep conversation with and it’s not weird at all

dietchola:

this guy at my school wears really short shorts all the time and i asked him why he doesn’t wear normal cut shorts and he said “if the sky is out, then my thighs are out” god bless

fatwink:

we’re not true friends until I’ve sent you a pic of my double chin

dragonholiday:

bucket list

• get a bucket
• use the bucket
• get a gold plated bucket
• skydive with a bucket
• have first kiss ((with bucket))
• travel round the world with bucket

nickelbackthatassup:

when I was six I threw a tantrum because I wanted a slushie from 711 and I remember my dad said “I will never buy you a slushie” AND LITERALLY RIGHT NOW HE CAME IN THE CAR WITH A SLUSHIE AND I WAS LIKE WHY DIDNT YOU GET ME ONE AND HE LOOKED ME DEAD IN THE EYE AND SAID “REMEMBER WHEN YOU WERE SIX”

cornucopia:

would you like some url with those hyphens

cokeflow:

I love sitting out in public and just watching people. I always wonder what they’re doing or where they’re going and what their story is or why their smiling & laughing and how much someone else loves them even though, to me, they’re just random people

cornmunism:

opens facebook

closes facebook

trelyon:

If zombies ever attack just go to Costco… they have concrete walls… years of foods and supplies… and best of all the zombies can’t get in without a Costco membership card

robertoluongo:

in grade 8 i did a power point presentation on “whooping cough” and my opening slide was a photo of whoopi goldberg coughing and i was the only person who laughed at it and i couldnt start the presentation for like five minutes because i was laughing too hard at my own joke

ohyousillypotato:

launches itunes

graduates college

gets married

has kids

gets divorced

remarries

retires

itunes opens

foodtrucker:

foodtrucker:

A holiday themed porno titled ‘here cums santa claus’

Featuring santa and his 3 hos

jesuschristvevo:

this one time in first grade we were having a party and the teacher asked us to bring in desserts and forks and cups and knives and i was in charge of the knives but i didnt know she wanted plastic ones so i brought regular ones and i got really angry about messing up so i started throwing the knives around the room and killed like seven people

how-ood:

original-flavor-serket:

My new years resolution is to touch a boob

thisismyveritas:

Kawasaki:

Kawaiisaki:

orelpuppington:

i literally cannot believe the reverse mohawk exists. looking at someone with a reverse mohawk is like temporarily getting transported into some sort of weird fever dimension where up is down and white is black

mrcraabs:

daddy daddy! tell us a text post before bed

catswithbenefits:

wow fox news isn’t even about foxes

ohtomhiddles:

i really hope i turn mysteriously hot in 2013

i wish i was black

upsef:

how high were they when  they invented pillows

“im gonna take all the feathers off this duck and shove them in a bag and we can sleep on it”

theyellowbrickroad:

“somebody call 911, shawty fire burnin on the dance floor!!!” but nobody did, not one person. they just continued to dance and let poor shawty burn to death

swasdicka:

my hobbies include looking things up on the internet that I can’t afford